Kshama – Forgiveness

Chashme uu chashme khuda ast,

 Haste uu haste khuda ast 

{Their eyes are eyes of the Lord and their hands are the hands of the Lord.}

Guru’s eyes are made because of the jewels of the soul. I have made my life based on these jewels. Today I am able to speak to you on this stage because of these jewels, which I have adopted in my living. 

Har ke gûn Har ko bhavde  

{The Lord likes attributes, which are like His own.} 

The Lord likes those attributes in us, which are like His own. Those who adopt them are also liked by Him. There is an anecdote: there was a man, who needed someone for his office work. He took out an advertisement in the newspaper. Thousands of applications came, which were all handwritten. This person had a very good handwriting. He used to look at every application very carefully and kept them aside. Then he saw an application with beautiful handwriting just like his own, he selected that person for the job. The meaning is that he liked to see the same attributes in others as he had himself. The same way the Lord likes in us those attributes, which He himself has. Kabirdasji has called the nine jewels as jewels and not attributes as these are worth adopting.  

I used to stay inSaharanpur, where there was a man by the name of Jagat Prasad. He had made an armband with nine jewels in it. Jewellery made out of nine jewels is supposed to be very good. These embellish a human being. In the same way the nine jewels embellish the soul.  

Forgiveness is to pardon someone’s wrong doing. Those who are without forgiveness, remain unhappy. Lakhs of people are devastated because they do not have the attribute of forgiveness. Guru Nanak says:  

Kshama beehune khap gaye

Khuni lakh asankh  

{Bereft of forgiveness, many have been devoured, killing an uncountable many.}  

Those who could not forgive, those who were without this attribute, they kill others. There is an anecdote: My daughter Uma has a farm, which many of you have seen. There is another farm in the neighborhood owned by Nathu and another one with whose owner Nathu was friends. They used to meet each other and spend time in each other’s company. One day the owner brought his buffaloes for a bath to Nathu’s farm at his tube-well. Nathu told him not to bathe his buffaloes at his farm but the other owner insisted. Nathu went inside, took out his revolver and shot the man three or four times. The man died instantly. Then he went to the police station on his own and got the report registered. He was a moneyed man, got away with a lesser sentence by bribing his way through. So this was the result of not forgiving, the man who was fighting died and Nathu went to jail.  

Those who cannot forgive fight each other, those who can forgive do not fight. There is no justice in today’s world. If we seek justice in the courts of this world, it is not there. There is an anecdote: there was a man with three children. All three were very small. Their mother ran away. Now the man was in a fix, should he go to work or take care of the children – he was very troubled. Who would look after his small children? He registered a complaint at the police station and a court case started on the matter. Both husband and wife were called in the court. The wife was asked as to why she had left the children. She said that I have no children and my husband has died. As I was still young I have remarried. There were a number of false witnesses with her who corroborated her statement. Then the man was asked and he said that she is my wife and she is lying.  

The woman said that he is lying because he wants to make me his wife and wants me to take care of his children. All witnesses supported the woman. When the man was asked whether he had any witnesses, he could not produce any and lost the case. What is meant is that courts do not mete out justice, only the Lord gives justice. The Lord knows everyone’s accounts and does justice. Humans cannot do justice.  

There was an enlightened man who was writing a book by hand and the book was about to be finished. At that time a dog nudged a lamp, which fell over the manuscript and completely burnt it. When it was burnt, the enlightened man said “are you aware how much loss you have caused”. He only said this much and started writing the manuscript again and finished it in time.  

It is said that forgiveness comes to those who have the attribute of kindness in them. If he had hit the dog, he would not have been kind. Because he was kind, he thought, why should I hit him, that will not get me the book back. The book will come by writing it again. Forgiveness finishes the miseries instead of increasing them and the sorrows go away. In a person who can forgive reside peace, politeness, patience and ability to endure suffering. Such a person, faced with thousand barbs, also does not leave kindness and forgiveness and is always peaceful. His face is always smiling.  

Crimes are paid for by punishing the guilty. If we continue doing that the crimes will never end. Someone commits a crime and we punish him. When he finishes his punishment he has a feeling of revenge. When such a person even passes by, his mental waves of revenge are unmistakable. He feels that till he takes his revenge he cannot rest. This feeling of revenge takes root in one and then another and the world suffers from unrest, lack of peace and irreligious actions. Opposite of this, if someone commits a crime and we forgive him then the person who has committed the crime will have favorable feelings for the person who has forgiven and instead of enmity, there will be a feeling of friendship.  

There is an anecdote: there was a girl in the ashram, who had a child. She started having high fever and the doctors diagnosed it as tuberculosis (T.B.). Her in-laws left her at he parents house saying that your daughter has T.B., please get her treated. Her father was a poor man, but he took debt to get her treated. She remained in the hospital for six months and not only got well but actually more than re-gained her health as T.B. patients are fed very well. When she got discharged from the hospital, the doctors said that she should not live with her husband for six months. When the husband came to know that she was well again, he came to fetch her back. The father said that I cannot let her go with you for six months as per the doctors advise. When she was ill, you left her here and I have taken debt to get her treated. She is your wife and you take her after six months. The son-in-law was insistent that he will take her now itself. The girl said that I will go only when my father gives permission to go. The son-in-law went to the market and bought a big knife. The father used to sleep outside in the open, he put the knife in his stomach. He screamed once and died instantly. People who were sleeping around got up and caught the son-in-law. He got imprisoned for twenty years. The daughter was inconsolable, her child was kept by the in-laws, husband was in jail and father was dead. When everything had gone, her heart was not in anything. Someone took pity on her and brought her to Kripal Singh Maharajji. He initiated her. She did not have much work to do at home, so used to spend more time at ashram and used to meditate. She started advancing in her meditation – by Lord’s grace, those who advance in meditation their Karmas get settled easily. After one year, her husband’s jail term was reduced to ten years and gradually that was further reduced and after a few years news came that he is being released. He was called to theMeerutjail before his release and Maharajji came to know of it. Maharajji said that we should go and meet him in the jail, the girl’s brother objected that he had killed their father and he will not go to meet him. Maharajji said you don’t go but I will definitely go and asked the girl to accompany him. He said that how do we know that he has not taken revenge for an earlier birth when he would have been killed by the victim. And if he has killed, it is for your daughter. I will take your daughter to meet him. When Maharajji started going, the mother said I will also go, then the brother also joined in. In this way everyone went. He had one month of jail term left. Maharajji took a room for her there and told her to take food for him and when he gets released, bring him back toDelhi. Then after one month Maharajji gave a place behind his bungalow to them and got quarters built for them there. He started working as a doorman. They also had children. So the real lesson is how a heinous crime like murder was pardoned by the grace of Maharajji. It is said that even if the crime is very big, forgive it. Those who forgive have a strong effect on others. Even enemies become friends.  

They are grateful to the one who forgives and instead of enmity they become friends. Whatever thoughts you send out, the reactions you get will be based on that. Those who send thoughts of love, get love back. Those who send out affection get its fruits. Farid sahib says  

Farida lohe lakh bijuria kikar beeje jat  

{Farida how will you harvest grapes when you have sown thorny bushes.}  

If you have sown thorny bushes then how will you be able to harvest grapes, the bush will bear thorns. So whatever Karma we do, we get the fruits of it accordingly. He further says:  

Aume uun katavnda, paida lode pát  

{If you have sent wool for weaving, why are you thinking of wearing silk clothes.}  

You have sent wool for spinning and weaving and in your mind you are thinking that I will wear silk clothes. How is that possible? Whatever you have given will come back to you, this is something we should think about, whatever we send comes back. There is an anecdote.  

Emperor Akbar had nine jewels in his court, one of them was Birbal. Birbal was the best of the jewels. Once Birbal was going with Akbar. Birbal was telling him this same thing, that whatever thoughts we have for someone, the other person reciprocates with thoughts. Akbar said that I do not agree with this. So Birbal said that why don’t you think something about the man coming on the other side of the way. Akbar thought that the man was bald, I should punch him in the head and crack his skull. When the man came close, Birbal asked the man, please tell us without fear of any reprisal, what did you think when you saw Akbar. He said, I thought, he is bald, I should punch him and break his skull. So Birbal said, look whatever you thought about him, the same thought came to him as well. If we send love to others, we will receive back love and if we send negative waves to others, we will face opposition.  

When we do not want bad for anyone, our love will become universal. These words are not for only listening but each statement should settle in our hearts.  

Nanak Naam chadhdi kala, 

Tere bhane sarvat da bhala  

{Nanak, the Lord’sNamtakes one upwards in the spiritual journey and in surrender to Your will, everyone benefits.}  

Whoever comes to me, says Biji loves me more than anyone else. That love should be with everyone. Enlightened ones say that the centeredness and calm, which comes through forgiveness cannot be described. So even if someone commits whatever crime against us, we should forgive the person.  

Once, Maharajji went somewhere with his wife. When his wife climbed down from the train, someone snatched her purse. There was a commotion in the crowd and the thief was caught. The police also came and asked Maharajji to register a complaint. Maharajji said, now that we have got the purse back, we do not want to complaint, we have forgiven him. The policemen insisted that he should register a complaint, but Maharajji refused to do so. While this discussion was going on, the policemen wrote the report themselves and took the purse in their custody. Maharajji still said that if you want, keep the purse with you, but I will not register a complaint, he has given back the purse, there is no cause to register a complaint. They forced Maharajji to give his address (when police enquires one has to give one’s address). Maharajji went home and the police sent the report they had written to the court.  

Maharajji was called by the court for a hearing on this matter. Maharajji had never seen the courts before this. When he reached there, the boy who had stolen the purse and his parents were standing there. Maharajji told the court that he should be pardoned. The judge said that thieves are to be punished and you are asking that we pardon him. Maharajji said that by punishing people, the crimes are not reducing. If we want to reduce crimes, we should do away with the feeling of hate and adopt forgiveness. On Maharajji’s saying, theboy was pardoned and his parents were very happy, they all came to the ashram and got initiated. In this way through the attribute of forgiveness changed lives of three people.  

We need to understand how powerful it is to forgive someone, how empowering it is. To forgive is such a good attribute. Only someone brave can forgive. Only someone brave and large-hearted can forgive. Wherever there is kindness, forgiveness comes. Those who have kind hearts, have forgiveness in their hearts. Sant Kabirdasji explains this topic very nicely. Forgiveness is very important.  

Jahan kshama tahan aap  

{Wherever there is forgiveness You are there.}  

The heart that forgives, the Lord resides there. The meaning of Lord residing there is to stay in the feeling of kindness. These statements are understood sitting in a Satsang.  

Bin satsang, vivek na hoi  

{Without Satsang, wisdom does not come.}  

Wisdom refers to true knowledge and to assume the right conduct. If you adopt what you are hearing and reading, you will become a spiritually attained person. To adopt the said words in your life is the true spirituality.  

Jahan jhooth tahan paáp  

{Wherever there is falsehood, there is sin.}  

Those who lie, sin. The sins keep increasing everyday. 

Jahan lobh tahan Kaal

{Wherever there is greed, there the negative power prevails.}

Where there is greed, negative power resides. I have seen villagers fighting and killing over an inch of land. Their farms are side by side. As an example, a man goes out for ten days, his neighbor seeing the opportunity breaks the boundary and rebuilt it afresh. When the man returns and both fight over the boundary and sometimes even bones get broken.  Kabirdasji says: 

Jahan daya tahan dharm 

{Where there is kindness there is spirituality.}

Those who are kind will one day become spiritually attained.

Jahan lobh tahan paáp

 {Where there is greed there are sins.}

 Greed is the root cause for sins and we get angry because of this and anger is a form of Kaal. Forgiveness has a very pleasing form. That is why forgiveness is also called very nice.

Bhala bhala sabko kahen, bhala kshama ka roop

 Ja ke man mein kshama nahin, so budhe bhav koop

{People call various things as beneficial, but there is nothing as beneficial as the form of forgiveness. One who does not have forgiveness in his heart, sinks in this creation.}

Forgiveness is very sweet, there is nothing in comparison to this. Those who do not forgive, sink in this creation. They remain embedded in the cycle of birth and death. By assuming forgiveness one also invites the attributes of purity and contentment.

Sheel rahe to sab kuch rahe, jete hein shubh angg

Jyon raja ke rahen, to praja ka sang

{If right conduct remains, all other desirable attributes remain. The way if the king is with you, his subjects will also remain with you.}

Once right conduct comes, contentment also comes by itself. When there is snow on the mountains and it becomes sunny, where does it go – transform to a river and flows into the sea.

Neeva ho ke chal, neevyan du rab milda

 {Always be humble because the humble attain the Lord.}

 Those who become humble, those who get purity, they themselves become ego less. Such people become fearless. They do not even fear death. 

Kshama vahin vrat sheel santosha,

Rog na vyape, na jamm ka dhokha

 {Those who vow forgiveness, get purity and contentment. They do not get any illness and do not fear death.}

The vow should be such that even if anyone was to say anything or do anything, we should forgive them. Forgiveness douses the strong fire of anger. If someone gets angry and decides to forgive, the fire of his anger will subside. So wherever there is forgiveness, both ego and anger vanish.

Ego is “I” ness. Everyone says my house, my children, my this and my that etc.

Mein naal rab di dushmani, mein na rab nu bhaye

Rab sabab kare koi aisa, mein meri mit jaye

 {Ego is an enemy of the God and is not liked by Him. God show me the way through which my ego is destroyed.}

 When we go to the saints, they bring about changes in us.

Sant or paras mein, bado antaro jaán,

Yeh loha kanchan kare, woh kar le áap samaán

{There is a big difference between saints and the alchemist’s stone. One converts iron into gold and the other converts whoever they touch into their likeness.}

Saints want to make others into saints. But for that we need to surrender our material selves to them. The potter will make utensils only out of the mud he gets. Those who remain close to them become saints quickly. Those who are farther away, take some more time. Saints love everyone.

Har ke gud Har bhavde

 {The Lord loves to see His own attributes in us.}

The Lord loves to see His attributes in others. Those who assume these attributes and are close to saints do not take much time to become saints themselves. Guru Amardas says:

Guru miliye, hamko shareer sudh bhayeen,

 Haume trishna, sab agni ujje,

 Bin kshay krodh kshama gah laeey

 {Meeting the Guru, I got to know about this body and my desires were all burnt away.

 My anger was dissipated and forgiveness took its place.}

He explains that meeting the Guru, I have understood that I am not my body but a soul. We have assumed this body. Like we take off our clothes, the same way we can take off our bodies. Saints teach us how to take off our bodies. First the material body then the astral body and then the causal body. When all the three bodies are taken off, the soul gives out light. The Soul’s true form is light and it is a part of the Lord. It has been covered in multiple layers of covers, as the covers come off one by one, its light starts becoming visible, filtering through the layers. So this knowledge that we are a soul and not the body, we get this distinction only after meeting the Guru.

Whatever desires and conceit we had within ourselves, were finished meeting the Guru and our ego ended. And one day will come when we will get to know that we are nothing and only the Lord operates everything and is everywhere. This is the Truth. When someone dies, we say Ram’s name is True. Which Ram are we referring to?

Rám teeta so Rama

 {One who resides in every particle is Ram.}

He who resides in every particle, is everywhere. We can cure anger only if we assume forgiveness. Conceited and angry person does not fear Lord and because of this continue to sin. And we keep collecting bad Karmas. If we collect bad Karmas, we will transmigrate into lower life forms and suffer the result of those Karmas. If we want to learn to forgive, we must look at a mother. Whatever crimes the children may commit, the mother does not look at those and brings them up with love.

Suratapradh kare nit jete

Janani man nahin rakhas tete

 {The child commits many a crimes everyday, but the mother forgives them all and does not carry them in her mind.}

 Whenever the child comes to the mother, she only loves him.

 Khod khad dharti sahe, koot kaát banrai

Kadve vachan sadhu sahe, kisi aur se saha na jaye

{The earth endures digging and the forest suffers cutting of trees. But harsh words can be endured only by a Sadhu, no one else can endure the same.}

It is said that one who is engaged in spiritual pursuits should endure harsh words. Whatever anyone might say, we should be calm.

Dosh na kahu dijiye, dosh karma aapne

 {Do not blame anyone for your suffering, our current circumstances are a result of our own past actions.}

If someone speaks loudly with us and misbehaves or says harsh words, we should blame our own Karmas, which we are repaying. We should not blame the one who says these things, nor should we say something back in response. It is true that the blame is only ours. Whatever we feel, behind that there are only our Karmas. Forgiveness is the highest embellishment. All the saints say that this embellishment is the one which displays their Godly glory. Because as soon as forgiveness comes, the Lord himself comes. When he himself comes, whose glory is it – the Lord himself. It is because of this reason forgiveness is given the status of the highest pilgrimage. Whoever, bathes in this pilgrimage, his agitation is ended.

Kabirdasji says:

Kshama krodh ko kshaya kare, jo kahu pe hoi

 {Forgiveness destroys anger, if the anger comes to someone.}

A number of women come to me and tell me that we get very angry. The enlightened ones say that if you forgive, your anger will be destroyed. Why am I telling you all these things, so that you adopt this attribute in your life. By adopting one attribute of forgiveness conceit and anger get destroyed on their own and purity and contentment take their place. But all this happens gradually.

Kshama krodh ko kshaya kare, jo kahu pe hoi

Kahe Kabir ta dass  ko, ganj sake na koi

 {Forgiveness destroys anger, if the anger comes to someone. Says Kabir that such a person cannot be defeated.}

Kabirdasji says that one who is forgiving, if someone wants to defeat him, he cannot do so. From his side, he has already lost. When Sarvajeet asked Kabirdasji to engage in a debate on spiritual texts, he said that I am illiterate. He said that then have you lost – Kabirdasji said yes I have lost. He asked him to sign on this, he put his thumb impression as he was an illiterate. When he went back, he saw it was written that Kabirdasji has won and Saravajeet has lost. You must have heard this story, the meaning of it is that humility is an attribute of a generous person.

Kshama badan ko chhaiye, chhotan ko utpaat

Kya Vishnu ka ghat gaya, jo Bhrigu maari laat

 {It behooves elders to forgive, as the young will always make mistakes. What did Vishnu lose, when Bhrigu kicked him?}

 It is incumbent upon the elders to forgive the young. The young are anyway engaged in mischief. If while playing, even if something breaks, we should not punish them. We should make them understand lovingly. Once Bhrigu was asked, which Dev is the highest. He went to find out. He went and kicked Brahmaji, who ran after him. Then he kicked Shivji, who also ran after him. When he kicked Vishnuji, he got tears in his eyes, he started kissing his feet and said that my chest is hard like a rock and your feet are very delicate. My son, I hope you did not get hurt. Then Bhrigu returned back and told everyone that Vishnuji is the highest among Devs, because one who has the strength to forgive is himself the Lord.

Gaari se sabau paje, kalah, kasht aur neech,

Haar chale jo sant, laag mare so neech

 {Swear words give birth to rift, suffering and lowly personage. Those who accept defeat and leave the scene have saintly personage and those who stay and fight are of lowly personage.}

 Enlightened ones explain that we should not swear at anyone, as it gives rise to most fights. Those who listen to harsh words and leave without saying anything are saints. Those who start fighting are of low personage. Once a group opposing him, came to Vivekanandji and started swearing at him. They kept at it till the sun went down and then when it started becoming dark, they prepared to leave. Vivekanandji told his disciples to get the lamp and show them the way as there is gravel on the way and someone could get injured. His disciples protested saying these people have said so many bad things to you. Vivekanandji said that I have not taken any of those, so they must have remained with them. If someone does not receive something being given then it goes back to the person giving it.

Kargas sam durjan bachan, rahe sant ján taar

Bijli pade samudra mein, kahan sakegi jaar

 {Words sharp as arrows spoken by an ill intentioned person, cannot do any damage to a saint. If the lightening strikes the sea, what damage can it really do?}

 These things that you have heard, I will be very pleased if you adopt it in your heart and I get to hear from your family that there is a change in you. The real advantage of hearing a Satsang is when all of what is said gets embedded in you internally and gets implemented.

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